I am surprised by your determination and inner strength to achieve your goals although I hoped it was not at the expense of safety and harm to yourself. Having said that, I hope you had learned and understood more about leadership during the trip. Now it is really up to you to decide if you want to be more proactive in creating and grabbing opportunities to develop your leadership skills. Congrats on your successful summit! May your missing trekking pole bless you in your future adventure!